


Dinner Party

by ArraFrost



Category: Deadpool (Comics), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers - All Fandoms
Genre: Drabble, M/M, Spideypool (implied), Superfamily, Superhusbands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-28
Updated: 2012-07-28
Packaged: 2017-11-10 22:22:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/471339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArraFrost/pseuds/ArraFrost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter finally convinces Steve and Tony to give Wade a chance and invites him to dinner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dinner Party

**Author's Note:**

> One of my first couple prompts I received on tumblr.

“No.” Tony's voice left no room for argument but it wasn't like he'd been able to raise a son that wasn't as, if not more, stubborn than he was.

“Dad, you can't-”

“Peter. I said no.” The two stared each other down. Determination set in both of their eyes. Steve stood in the back, leaning against the wall and sighing into his hand. For all his super human strength and military training, he was not brave enough to jump in the middle of these two when they were like this.

“He's my friend.” Peter's voice was low, angry and uncompromising.

“Not anymore, he's not.” Tony growled back, deep in his throat, showing that he had the dominance in this situation.

“Pop?” Peter turned to Steve, who looked like a deer caught in the headlight for a split moment before he put his hands, clearly not wanting to be involved in this conversation with Tony in the mood he was in now.

“Come on, Dad. Wade isn't that bad.”

“That bad?” Peter suddenly felt like he could fall into a black hole and he still wouldn't be able to get away from the look his father was giving him. “Wade Wilson is a psychotic, trigger-happy idiot that can't tell reality from his own twisted mind.”

“Agreed. But that doesn't mean he can't be a good friend!” Peter argued, shoulders set as firm as his fathers.

Steve's eyes flicked back between his husband and his son and he honestly couldn't tell who was winning or losing anymore.  _Stark, he's definitely your son._ Was all he could think to himself.

Peter's eyes narrowed, Tony's followed suit.

“One dinner.” Steve chimed, decisively.

Peter had to bite his tongue to keep a smirk from spreading across his lips. Tony's turned to look sharply at his husband, promise of death deep in his eyes.

“Steve...” Tony snarled lowly.

“No, Tony,” Steve spoke confidently. “It's only one dinner. Nothing he can do would be worse than what we can do to him.”

\- - - - - - - -

“Spidey, nice home man. One of the voices in my head let me in.”

Peter's eyebrow rose slightly, “That was JARVIS. He's the AI that runs the house.”

“I was wondering why his voice wasn't in a white speech box.”

“Yeah... So, I'm going to introduce you to my fathers now. Remember, Wade, best behaviour.”

Deadpool saluted his friend, grin wide. “Whatever you say, Junior.”

Peter shook his head and waved for Wade to follow him towards the dining room. The entire time, Wade commented on any and every design of the building, piece of artwork and anything else that struck his eye.

“Wade.” Peter cut him off as they entered the room. Steve and Tony standing on the other side of the table. Tony couldn't look more displeased and Steve appeared to be in commander mode – no emotions given away.

“Wade this is-”

“You didn't tell me he was your dad!” Wade exclaimed, running up to Steve and taking his hand to shake it enthusiastically. “You also play the Human Torch! I am such a huge fan!”

“Uh... thanks?” Steve's stoic expression faltered to give him a confused smile. Steve leaned over, just so that Wade wouldn't notice being too caught up in shaking his hand, and whispered into Tony's ear. “Isn't that one of the Fantastic Four guys?”

Tony nodded, barely noticeable, but Steve nodded back and straightened himself up, removing his hand almost forcefully from Wade's grasp.

Immediately Wade held out his hand to Tony, who merely looked down at it with contempt.

“Put your hand down.”

“Dad.”

“Don't worry about it, Pete. I wouldn't shake my hands knowing where they've been either.”

As Wade grinned, Steve glanced down at the hand Wade had previously been holding and thought real hard about excusing himself to wash up.

“So what's for supper? Hot pockets filled with worm meat? I've had them, they're not bad for a down payment.”

“No, I made lasagna.”

“The Captain made lasagna? What's in it? Couple layers of cheese, noodles, meat, the American flag.”

“Yes.” Steve stared at him with a deadpan expression before he turned to walk into the kitchen.

Tony would have rolled his eyes if he weren't so focused on watching Wade with disdain, instead he chose to sit down at the table. Peter sat down across from Tony, who gestured for Wade to come sit next to him.

Wade sauntered over to his place at the table, sitting with a cocky grin on his face.

The table was in stiff silence, all but Wade who grinned openly until Steve returned with two plates of food. He placed on plate in front of Tony and the other in front of Wade before heading back to the kitchen for the last two.

“Someone sullied the name of America with a lie, or baking a flag into pasta... I can't tell which is worse.”

Steve shook his head as he re-entered the dining room, placing the last two meals on the table.

“So what have you been doing Wade? Blackmailing? Fraud? Back stabbing?” Tony asked nonchalantly, taking a bite of lasagna.

“I have saved the multiverse, you know. But no, no, let's look at Deadpool's negative qualities. Though, I'm not the only one who likes blowing things up in this room.” Wade's eyes flickered to Tony. “Am I right old man?”

More lasagna was shoveled into Tony's mouth. Peter felt the level of awkwardness rise when both Tony and Steve looked at him, as though expecting him to make things go right and prove that his friend wasn't what they thought him to be.

“Uh... yeah. Blowing things up is a grand time for Dad. Usually while trying to save people. Like you did the other day. Remember the girls in the alley, you saved them from that guy who was... trying to kidnap them.”

“Oh you mean the girls I tried to snag from their date. Yeah they didn't take to kindly to me picking them up, got a purse right in the-”

Peter jabbed him with this elbow.

“Pointy bits! Ow, Parker! Warn a guy.”

“That was my warning.”

“What it's not like I told your dads about our hot and heavy sex life.”

“Wade!”

“Man, I can only assume he gets all those kinks from you, Stark. And the voice, that's probably you too. Ow! Don't kick me right now, you know we only do the masochistic thing on Mondays.”

“If you don't shut your mouth you're going to be swallowing a mouth full of spider webs!”

“Now that's another kink right there! Bondage, man I did not think he'd be into that. Is that from you, Captain?”

“Don't believe him, Dad, Pops! Just stop listening! Wade! Shut up!”

“My favorite though, has to be the costume sex. We both have mostly spandex so we can get away with costume sex, gotta be harder with the Iron Man suit, right? I mean how do you take only pieces of that off?”

Peter groaned loudly as he slammed his head against the table, hoping the impact would knock him unconscious long enough to erase the looks of disgust, terror, confusion, and astonishment on both his fathers' faces from his mind. Or put him in a long coma, that would be good too.


End file.
